1)there's a difference between BEING depressed and FEELING depressed, one is a medical condition that requires medication and more often than not, extensive therapy, the other is an emotion, it comes and goes, emotions do that. There's absolutely nothing wrong with either of those.
2) Some days you are not physically able to get out of bed. It's just not possible, your blankets feel like a prison, and your body is made of lead. Theres no pin-pointing which days will be "bad" days and which will be "good" days. Its a coin toss. This is the hardest thing that I have to explain to people. Getting out of bed can be just as difficult as flying to Pluto for some people. Having depression sucks, and some days you will not physically be able to leave your house. Sometimes I'm proud of myself if I even take care of myself.
3) "just be happy" do not say this to anyone with depression ever. You know what, just don't say this to anyone. If someone is sad, they're sad for a reason, LEAVE IT ALONE. People with depression want to be happy, but it's a chemical imbalance in the brain. My dopamine receptors decided to nope the fuck out, and so my brain is all willy-nilly. I would love to wakeup every day and be happy I'm alive, but that isn't reality, some days i wake up and wish I was dead, and sometimes I still have SEVERE panic attacks. It's just how life works. So don't be a dick, and just roll with it
4) ITS REAL. For Gods sake people, it's 2014, not 1950. Mental disorders are real, not someone just being a ninny-muggins. So please quit pretending that what I feel is an "overreaction" I've been to 4 therapists, a mental hospital, and I visit a psychiatrist once a month, they all say the same thing, it's a disease, I can't change it. My brain is sick, it's like having ADD or Down Syndrome, its something that happens to people sometimes, and nothing can change it, you just have to accept it, and learn how to live with it. So don't make it harder on anyone by pretending that their disease isn't real.
5) Don't be a dick. Just don't. It doesn't matter if they have depression or not, be nice. You don't know how close to the edge they are.
6) Medication. You have to take it. It sucks, but it keeps you from killing yourself. Telling someone with depression to use "positive thinking" to get better is like telling someone with a broken leg to wish that their leg was healed. You can wish all you want but it isn't going to change a damn thing.
7) Self harm. . I have shoved needles under my skin, sliced my wrists, and burned myself. I did those things to make sure I was alive, sometimes you feel nothing, and you'd trade your soul to feel pain, and so you injure yourself and you still don't feel a damn thing. I have scars on my arms and legs, and at first I was afraid of people seeing them, but you know what? I'm alive. So what if they see what i've done, I'm still breathing. Don't make anyone feel bad about their scars, and don't point them out. "Yes, thank you, I do have scars on my wrist but its not your business, I am still beautiful." (please refer to number 5)
8) Suicide: I tried to kill myself twice. Each time by overdosing on medication, after my second attempt I checked myself into a mental hospital, and I spent a week there. It sucked and I hated it, and I'm trying my hardest to not go back. Don't joke about suicide. do not tell someone to go kill themselves. DONT BE A DICK TO PEOPLE. Me trying to kill myself had nothing to do with my family or how I was raised. My brain told me being dead is less painful then being alive, so I tried to kill myself. Some people show signs of depression and suicide, some don't. My mother thought I was just moody, and that isn't her fault. How could she have known? Just be there for your friends.
9) It's hard. Every day is hard, it's hard knowing you'll never be "normal" and I've had some people in my family make me feel awful for how I am, but I cant change it. It's hard to talk to people, It's hard to be social, it's hard to go out and do things, and its REALLY REALLY hard trying to convince yourself that you are loved sometimes (You are. All the time, every single second of every single day by so many people. but your brain is a dick). You depend on medication and pure will power, and you feel like a ticking bomb with a faulty timer. You never know when you're going to be set off.
10) finding religion isn't always the answer.
11) Triggers are bad. very very bad. They're what sets you off. I had to write a list of possible triggers. I wrote down 100 things, and then gave up. Thats 100 things that I have absolutely NO control over that can at any point in time send me into crazy bitch mode (sorry if you've ever been on the receiving end of that). What sucks is you explode, then have to do damage control. Ive said awful things to people that I didn't mean, and i've lost friends and relationships because of it. BUT YOU HAVE NO CONTROL OVER IT. Its like PMS 24/7/365. I've been called names and my brain was like "yo bruh, thats cool. whatevs" and then one time someone said that I could be dramatic sometimes and my brain went into full fledged meltdown mode. You cant change it, and you have to deal with it and have some SERIOUS self control and patience (I have neither). Be patient. I know being around me is like walking on eggshells, trust me; I am very fully aware, and I hate it. But yelling and getting upset at someone in meltdown mode just makes it worse. The only extremely safe course of action is to get them to a safe place, sit them down, look them in the eyes and say " I love you, and I'm doing this for your own safety" then walk away, and wait for them to wear themselves out(or calm down)
Depression is hard and it sucks. Like hard core. You blame yourself for everything, and hate everyone. You're basically a human grumpy cat, but you will survive it. I am. Every day i give myself a mental pat on the back for mundane accomplishments like getting out of bed, but it really helps. There are days where you want to die, and there are days when you sit outside just because the sun feels nice on your skin. If you have depression, or know anyone that does, accept and love them. Thats it. Hell, depression or not accept and love everyone ( I suck at that but i'm working on it). You know my facebook, so talk to me anytime you want, if you want.
remember my perfect beautiful readers:
"smile...because I love you"
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